To All Incoming Adventurers —DnD Fest Update
Well now… word is yer on yer way in a few weeks, and not just a few o’ ya dis time. Sounds like a whole crew of adventurers will be arrivin’. Yah, it’s been years since I seen dis kind o’ buzz around here.
Name’s Einar. I’m proud to be da innkeeper o’ dis ancient place—da Forest Inn. It was handed to me some years back by a good dwarf named Kaldr, a veteran o’ da old wars with da Morrigan. Solid man, full o’ fire, and never one to leave a mess behind. I do what I can to keep da inn runnin’ in his spirit.
Now, I don’t know much about what da Guild’s got planned, but I know when someting smells like a competition. Big groups, all tryin’ not to look like dey’re watchin’ each other too close? Yah, I ain’t stupid. Don’t know what da prize is, and I don’t much care—but I’ll be watchin’ all da same.
While yer stayin’ here, dere’s a few house rules ya need to know.
First off, no fightin’ inside or outside. Don’t matter what kind o’ beef ya brought with ya. Ya wanna settle a score, not here. Keep it for the monster-slayin. I keep da common room clean, and I like my furniture standin’ and I don’t like calling out the wardens and rangers who patrol the area. You do it and you get the boot. No questions. Ain’t never had it and don’t expect it. All good people come here.
Second, no smokin’ in da inn. Dat means pipes, cigars, fancy vapor rings—all of it. Take it out to da gravel or near da fire pit where it belongs. And no skunky weed, neither. It’s against da king’s laws, and we don’t break da law here, even out in da trees.
Tirdly, If you’re drinking alcohol, do so wisely. I don’t want to be having some of yeh disturbing da peace of udders.
Food-wise, yer in good hands. Breakfast and dinner will be served in da main hall. Lunch? We’ll bring it out to wherever yer stationed. But don’t go wanderin’ around—we won’t be chasin’ ya across da hills with a tray. And listen close: workers eat first. Dey got jobs to do, and dey don’t need hungry adventurers slowin’ ‘em down.
Now, about da Door. Manannán’s Door, dey call it. A strange thing. Ain’t just a door, not really—it’s got a feel to it, like it’s watchin’, or waitin’. I don’t know how it works. I just know it don’t open for everyone, and sometimes, it don’t open at all.
If ya go through, ya go in good faith. When yer ready to come back, return to da same spot it dropped ya. If da way’s clear, it’ll open. If not... well, it’ll make ya wait. I trust it more dan I trust most men, and I like dat it don’t let trouble follow ya in.
Only I got da key, and dat ain’t just Guild talk. No one passes through without my say. Don’t test it.
If, by some wild luck, ya find another key while yer out dere—I’ll pay ya five thousand gold for it, straight away. No hagglin’. But da key itself stays here. End of discussion.
Since we’ve got such a crowd dis year, I figured I’d make it worth yer while. Thursday night, I lined up real entertainment—none o’ dat traveling tavern fluff. Friday night, we’re bringin’ more o’ da same. And I hear some o’ ya are plannin’ a talent show dat evenin’? Well, I’ll be tossin’ in some prizes for da best acts, so don’t hold back.
Saturday afternoon, my friend Yuri’s settin’ up out back for some axe throwin’. Big man, big axes, bigger attitude. Everyone gets a few throws on my coin, but don’t waste ‘em—he charges by da hour. If dere’s time left, sure, throw again. I expect a few o’ ya will be layin’ bets. Gah, I’d be disappointed if ya didn’t.
You’ll also have a shot at claiming the legendary Grand Raffle, dubbed The Master’s Hoard and More. Tickets are ten ($) each, available throughout the Fest from me or my pretty wife, Pam. Folks can buy as many as they like. No limits, so you can enter more than once and even win multiple prizes if luck’s on your side. The top prize is a staggering haul: your choice of a premium gaming table worth over a thousand gold, plus everything a Dungeon Master dreams of—from great adventuring books and DM reference tomes to fine parchment, dice towers, journals, and even plush Unifluffs . Second and third-tier bundles are mighty respectable too, filled with gear like a second gaming table, dice sets, RPG cases, and more If you’ve ever fancied walking away from the weekend not just with stories but with a true treasure trove worthy of legend, this is yer chance. Bring some extra coin for some great items my wife will be selling in the tent. It helps defray some costs for us!
So, dat’s all for now. Stay tuned to updates. I have some guests staying at the inn you all should be knowing about and I’ll send an update on them shortly.
I look forward to seein’ each of ya soon. Da Forest Inn has seen more stories den I’ll ever tell, and it’s still here, waitin’ for da next chapter, for chapters there will be as Gerrick the Historian is actually writing them up as we speak. Let’s keep it a place worth comin’ back to.
Einar, innkeeper of da Forest Inn